february.

Have you ever been frustrated at yourself? Like when you say you aren't going to do something but for some reason you do? Or, you make a new years resolution to do better on certain things in life but you mess up sooner than later? It is one of the most annoying pet peeves I have of myself. I get so annoyed when I tell myself I'm going to do something differently and then I always find some how to screw that up. Why can't it be a little easier to follow the right path of change? I guess it takes a lot of motivation and faith in yourself....maybe?

With the month of Febraury being the month of LOVEEE, I find it appropriate to write something along those lines. (However the more I think about it, the more I realize that's all I really write about.) In the past week, I've noticed a few things about me that relate to love. I try not to let myself fall in love too fast, or at all. I'm not too keen on letting a guy into my life especially when I know I'm not ready for the commitment. Dating is fun but, man is it exhausting. I get tired of doing the same old thing all the time with someone different all the time. Can we just put a pause on dating and then just one day our prince charming will fall in front of us and then you get married? Would that not be nice? I guess it wouldn't be for those who love to adventure out with different guys. Sometimes I feel like I'm sitting in the same blank room, same boring table, same burning candle, same dinner meal and just a different look and personality in front of me. I guess that is to some extent good, because I've met a wide variety of guys. I am just tired of "sitting".

The day I allow myself to fall in love I will no longer be sitting...I'll be standing on top of the world above those who are sitting. However, do not rush me to make that climb because I'm not ready to stand yet. I've got a few years of sitting before I want to stand tall.