Quick Thoughts

Concluding another decent weekend with no worries I decided to write what I began thinking on my way back to school. The depressing thoughts didn't hit me until about halfway back when I went from happy go lucky mood to a LARGE HARD WALL OF UHHH. I don't know what it is but maybe school is reality check for me. I honestly can say college isn't fully what I had expected, it's a lot worse. I thought I could have big dreams and complete them, work hard without being distracted. I was definately wrong. So many outside issues have come into my way of school and getting to my dreams. I guess that's part of the challenges we are to expect but day after day...come on. Seriously, it's depressing how day after day you get nailed in the head with something to put you down. Sometimes it may not even be on purpose but you take it that way because everything and everyone is out to get you.
I get tired of missing the past and wishing things were like they use to be. I really do. I'm ready to be excited about the future or even the next day. I can't seem to grasp the idea that tomorrow is a new day and it has new beginnings. I guess I don't look forward to it because for so long I have witnessed challenge after challenge. I'm tired, restless, annoyed, frustrated, aggravated, and stressed. I wish for once, during the week I'd have a really good day. Not missing anyone, not feeling heartbroken, not like a failure, just have a good day. I wish someone would grant something like that on me; to enjoy one day with no bad news.
On my drive home I began to think of what it would be like to not be in school and not have to worry about how my actions would effect others. It's hard to see those images. I worry about everyone and I usually try to put everyone else first. I want to be able to let go of everything and just live life. I get tired of these "rules of life" and just want to be FREE.