Originality

[Original . All compilations of parts of people who have had influence on our lives. Originality comes through in how we express that and how we treat other people. ]
As the world turns we realize that each of us has a different piece of the puzzle. Everyone on this surface has a piece that connects perfectly with another making up one enormous individual I like to call mother earth.
Luckily for us those pieces don't quite connect till later in our lives giving us this opportunity to shine our individuality. Now to me, our individuality is, as well, originality. Each fragment of a human individual is compiled with originality that makes up who we are. The great thing about these fragments is that there are some missing. Here is when we find someone else to fill in those missing pieces in which we call a friend or loved one.
According to science we act like the genes past down from our parents and can't do anything about it. Sorry, but I believe science is wrong in this case. We can change this born originality and create something new. I've always agreed with the thought that you are born with your individuality but I never could express that we are able to somewhat tweak the individual in us. We come across all sorts of people that will change our personal identity. Depending on who we grow around we simply become influenced by their thoughts and actions. For instance, when we are young we follow our parent's rules because everyone else does but when we grow older and our friends are learning to not listen we do as well. Now I don't believe peer pressure truly takes place here I think it's because we grow off each other.
We are influenced by everything. It may take a few years before we truly compile our originality into one big ball but we all know that it is there, deep down. Being original is only part of life but it's probably the most important part of it. Using your own orginality will only complete the puzzle. So when you are feeling like there is no one out there for you just remember you have pieces missing in you that will soon be filled.

Dirt

[i wrote this over the summer...]

Stepping out into the dark red dirt of my new home I gain a sense of "unusualty". Never has there been this sort of feeling from my body. I feel lost on this new ground and unsure of its surrounds. How do I cope with this feeling of discomfort?
I walk. I bounce. I run. I feel the ground. I get a sense of familiarity. To deal you have to adjust. I notice the differences and point out the negatives and positives. What makes this ground better than the one before. Well, this ground is red, not brown. This makes things a bit more vibrant, new and edgy. I feel like I can rebel just a little. Not too much or I might end up in another un-known land; something I'd rather not visit again. Not only does this ground look different it feels different. The texture is tougher, like clay. This must co-op with the rebellious state, the tough texture balances it out. Even though it may be wild and out there, the strength doesn't allow it to go too far.
I enjoy the idea that this substance can reflect the emotions and the feelings of a person. Everything around us has a positive and a negative to simply balance it out. Both traits can be visualizations of ones actual emotions. Not only emotions but personalities too.
This dark red ground is the ground I walked when I first moved to North Carolina; the hard clay substance that ruins everything white. So in one stand point you can say that the South takes the purity out of an individual or it can bring a tid bit of rebel in someone. The dirt I once use to walk on was brown black and broke easily. From my point of view, this just means that no matter what things kept falling apart and were unable to be fixed. Now that I stand on hard clay my personality and over all well-being is at a better place.

No Longer on a Cloud

Standing alone on the face of this earth unaware of her surroundings. Blank face but not blank minded. Her thoughts run sporadically through her mind, causing her eyes to expand wider than the sun. Some think she is on drugs but those who know her know she is just thinking. She is letting her mind take control and create this world of chaos. Nothing can stop it, not a single word or person. They can try and snap her back but she won't. She won't let go of these thoughts in her mind. She will hold them forever in her mind, not as a grudge but as memory; for these thoughts aren't anything to hold against anyone but herself. She won't snap back into reality because this, this mindset is reality. Try, you can to lead her in a new direction but her mind is made up. She won't nudge to the left because she falls to only to the right. She's stubborn in her own sense because she follows what she believes is right. In her mind, everything isn't picture perfect like she dreamt one night. You can only think things are perfect but her mind, her mind tells the truth, the reality of the picture. Friends and family pursue her to follow her dreams however she has a hard time standing on that line. The line she wants to follow keeps breaking more and more to the point where nothing can hold it back together. She is slowly breaking down, become a part of the earth. Her reality is so real that she know longer dreams in the clouds. This makes her different from you; while you stand pretty on the clouds dreaming away she is becoming grounded on this earth. Invisible to the rest, blending into the neutral colors and no longer a shining star in the clouds. Her mind will never retain these dreams because she is afraid of being let down again. She has been hurt too many times and realizes what she knows if truth and there is no room for dreams. So while you are standing on that cloud, shining with all the others, look down, see this girl of earth blend and say a prayer and try to get her to look up again.

Quick Thoughts

Concluding another decent weekend with no worries I decided to write what I began thinking on my way back to school. The depressing thoughts didn't hit me until about halfway back when I went from happy go lucky mood to a LARGE HARD WALL OF UHHH. I don't know what it is but maybe school is reality check for me. I honestly can say college isn't fully what I had expected, it's a lot worse. I thought I could have big dreams and complete them, work hard without being distracted. I was definately wrong. So many outside issues have come into my way of school and getting to my dreams. I guess that's part of the challenges we are to expect but day after day...come on. Seriously, it's depressing how day after day you get nailed in the head with something to put you down. Sometimes it may not even be on purpose but you take it that way because everything and everyone is out to get you.
I get tired of missing the past and wishing things were like they use to be. I really do. I'm ready to be excited about the future or even the next day. I can't seem to grasp the idea that tomorrow is a new day and it has new beginnings. I guess I don't look forward to it because for so long I have witnessed challenge after challenge. I'm tired, restless, annoyed, frustrated, aggravated, and stressed. I wish for once, during the week I'd have a really good day. Not missing anyone, not feeling heartbroken, not like a failure, just have a good day. I wish someone would grant something like that on me; to enjoy one day with no bad news.
On my drive home I began to think of what it would be like to not be in school and not have to worry about how my actions would effect others. It's hard to see those images. I worry about everyone and I usually try to put everyone else first. I want to be able to let go of everything and just live life. I get tired of these "rules of life" and just want to be FREE.