Food. I like food. I hate seafood though, oh and hotdogs. Seafood is slimy and fishy and gross. The texture in my mouth makes me want to vomit. Hotdogs, well let's just say I was tortured with horrible story of what's in a hotdog and since the third grade I haven't even dared to eat one. Yes, it's almost like a phobia. For my favorite food ever, well that's kind of hard. There are some many kinds of foods that I enjoy, especially depending on my mood. For instance, when I'm starving I eat all kinds of junk. When I am ready for a sit down mood I like to enjoy a juicy tender steak, but that's not too often. When the family and I go out to eat on Friday's I usually eat chicken tenders, fries, and a class of h2o OR I eat mild chicken wings with lots of bleu cheese. (yum) Typing this has gotten my taste buds a-going. Anywho, I enjoy taste testing foods I know. I'm not really into the foreign foods, they make me nauses to think of what each ingredient is. I do love eating pizza and wings when I go to New York because well thats what they are somewhat famous for. I'm ready to go to New York and eat this food.
Unlike Jade, I love carrots. They are great to dip in ranch and italian dressing. Yum! They also take away the spicey in spicey wings. Celery is great as well to accompany the carrots and wings. I want to eat carrots now!
I'm ready to leave. Mrs. Dunigan is sick and she doesn't know why. She is quite aggravated with this. "It is June and I'm sick."
We all want out of this building. It's too white and blue and puts a depressing frown upon our faces.
This journal entry is random but so is today.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Journal Entry #1
I never really knew the difference between young and old until the day my grandpa had a severe heart attack.
It was one of those real normal days after church when the whole family got together and ate Thanksgiving all over again. Uncle Ted and his to-be wife Rosey, which I called Aunt Rose, sat on the white wooden swing. Little children ran hurriedly in and out of Grandma Elena's house dragging in leaves and grass from the front yard. Grandma Elena never fussed at any of us because she knew we were just having some fun and she'd never thought twice about interrupting our time of play.
Mama and Papa always helped Grandma Elena make the fruit bowls and vegetable trays. Each piece of fruit and vegetable were freshly picked from the garden every Saturday afternoon before Grandma Elena and Grandpa Joe played a game of scat.
Sunday's were Grandpa Joe's time of rest, no cooking, cleaning, watching TV, or playing with the children. Just sitting in his brown and beige lazy boy reading the Sunday news and making small laughter at the comic section. Since I was a bit older than the rest of the children, almost fifteen, a young adult to Mama and Papa, I sat in with grandpa; I'd watch his actions and try to be just like him. His facial expressions never went from one extreme to the other, always quite content leaving a small smirk in the corner of his mouth. He had tiny round dimples that were placed so neatly right next to his lips. His hair was a fray past snow white and his fairly tan face glowed across the room. Despite all the wrinkles drawn on his face, grandpa sure had a young edge to him. There was nothing ever too old fashioned about him, he always wanted to update things in the house, his wardrobe, and even his car. Now Grandma Elena and Grandpa Joe were no where near as rich as they wanted to be, but who ever truly is? Grandpa's job took place in the downtown area where all the rich businessmen worked. He made a fair share of money to have enough left over to buy a new car at the end of the year.
"You know what I never understood. Why all these old people want to live in the past and not seek what they can have in the future!"
I just giggled at grandpa's remark. He was always saying strange comments after reading an article in the paper.
"I just don't see why you would want to go back in the old days when things were bad. This is the beginning of a new year. What's that old saying people say?"
"Seize the day?" I shouted.
"Yes, seize the day and all its future."
"Gather around everybody, supper is set."
The whole family quickly stopped what they were doing and made their way toward the large family dining table. All the little kids lined up in the bathroom to wash their hands, because they knew grandma would yell at them if their hands were dirty at the table.
Everyone sat down one by one, the kids sliding in side by side on the picinic bench style chairs. I sat right slab dab next to grandpa like I always did. I was kind of like his side-kick, Mama never understood by I was always so close to him. She never really got along with him. She said growing up was a rough time for her because grandpa was a lot stricter back then.
Like usual Grandma Elena said the prayer before we all passed around the bowls full of home cooked foods. As each bowl passed my mouth drooled at the site of all the great foods and amazing smells. Grandpa would always cut a piece of meat up for me because I was never good at getting the right portion. Stuffing our faces the table was quite for a whole hour. Nothing was even said between the transition of dinner to dessert. Pecan pie and chocolate pudding were on the specialty that afternoon and boy was it good.
After eating and clearing up the table we all headed into the den where a few more hours of silence and t.v. watching were observed. Grandpa began to talk about running four miles down the road just get home in time for dinner or he knew his daddy was going to get him. He said how young and vibrant he use to be.
"Grandpa, did you really run that far?"
"Oh I sure did. I ran so fast that I think I lost ten pounds in that one session." We all laughed at the joke he made. Grandma Elena even chuckled loudly because she couldn't quite picture grandpa actually running down the side of the road. Once again things got quiet and it felt as if nothing was ever said all day. I hated hearing the silence and I loved to hear stories from grandpa so I had to break the frozen air.
"Grandpa, tell about the time you met grandma in San Andre Hill?"
Nothing was said, no movement or sounds. I thought maybe he fell asleep or he just didn't hear me.
"Grandpa, did you hear me? Tell me another story!" I shouted even louder.
Once again, nothing said and no one moved. Mama however did shuffle toward him to try and wake him up.
"Dad?"
"Grandpa, wake up!"
Nothing moved. A breeze of cold air hit me just then. I wasn't sure what happened and I don't remember seeing much because my eyes began to swell with water. Something was wrong, something didn't feel right.
The next thing I know Mama and Papa are running through the house like a pack of wild animals. Grandma Elena just sat in her chair holding her Bible in her hands and rocking back and forth. The rest of the children were herded into the other room by Aunt Rose while Uncle Ted directed the EMS men into the den. I wasn't sure what to do or say so I just hid behind the couch listening to the EMS men talk to Uncle Ted. I felt like an investigation at a crime scene was going on. There were a few nods of a mans head and then a mournful handshake between he and Uncle Ted.
Once the room cleared of all the EMS men, Uncle Ted sat down next to grandma and held her close, whispering some sweet sweet prayer. I closed my eyes and tried to hear that same prayer telling God to take care of my grandpa.
It wasn't til that that night that the EMS men actually got a hold of us. The phone rang sparactically off the hook around nine o'clock. Mama jumped up to answer it but Papa was too quick for her.
"Hello? Yes. Yes. Okay. Oh, okay. Thank you sir. Uh huh, you too."
Papa slowly turned around with a glaze of tears across his eyes. He walked slowly toward us all and put his hand on Mama's shoulder.
"The doctor said that Grandpa Joe had a mild heart attack. Things were okay until he had another one. Doc said it wasn't so mild though. They told us to call tomorrow to make arrangements for the funeral and wished us the best of luck."
The room molded into a silent film, no one said a word or cried a single tear. Just dead silence.
I began to think why on earth this would happen, how could of all a sudden a healthy man go bad?
"The nurse said on his last heart attack he was talking about running. Running far and hard. She wasn't sure why he would say something like that. She said he yelled 'I made it' and that was it."
My heart stopped. I couldn't believe it, he was trying to relive being young and vibrant. The thought of running got his heart rushing, too fast. I never thought he'd ever truly run that four mile hike again, but I guess he did.
[ps] not a true story
It was one of those real normal days after church when the whole family got together and ate Thanksgiving all over again. Uncle Ted and his to-be wife Rosey, which I called Aunt Rose, sat on the white wooden swing. Little children ran hurriedly in and out of Grandma Elena's house dragging in leaves and grass from the front yard. Grandma Elena never fussed at any of us because she knew we were just having some fun and she'd never thought twice about interrupting our time of play.
Mama and Papa always helped Grandma Elena make the fruit bowls and vegetable trays. Each piece of fruit and vegetable were freshly picked from the garden every Saturday afternoon before Grandma Elena and Grandpa Joe played a game of scat.
Sunday's were Grandpa Joe's time of rest, no cooking, cleaning, watching TV, or playing with the children. Just sitting in his brown and beige lazy boy reading the Sunday news and making small laughter at the comic section. Since I was a bit older than the rest of the children, almost fifteen, a young adult to Mama and Papa, I sat in with grandpa; I'd watch his actions and try to be just like him. His facial expressions never went from one extreme to the other, always quite content leaving a small smirk in the corner of his mouth. He had tiny round dimples that were placed so neatly right next to his lips. His hair was a fray past snow white and his fairly tan face glowed across the room. Despite all the wrinkles drawn on his face, grandpa sure had a young edge to him. There was nothing ever too old fashioned about him, he always wanted to update things in the house, his wardrobe, and even his car. Now Grandma Elena and Grandpa Joe were no where near as rich as they wanted to be, but who ever truly is? Grandpa's job took place in the downtown area where all the rich businessmen worked. He made a fair share of money to have enough left over to buy a new car at the end of the year.
"You know what I never understood. Why all these old people want to live in the past and not seek what they can have in the future!"
I just giggled at grandpa's remark. He was always saying strange comments after reading an article in the paper.
"I just don't see why you would want to go back in the old days when things were bad. This is the beginning of a new year. What's that old saying people say?"
"Seize the day?" I shouted.
"Yes, seize the day and all its future."
"Gather around everybody, supper is set."
The whole family quickly stopped what they were doing and made their way toward the large family dining table. All the little kids lined up in the bathroom to wash their hands, because they knew grandma would yell at them if their hands were dirty at the table.
Everyone sat down one by one, the kids sliding in side by side on the picinic bench style chairs. I sat right slab dab next to grandpa like I always did. I was kind of like his side-kick, Mama never understood by I was always so close to him. She never really got along with him. She said growing up was a rough time for her because grandpa was a lot stricter back then.
Like usual Grandma Elena said the prayer before we all passed around the bowls full of home cooked foods. As each bowl passed my mouth drooled at the site of all the great foods and amazing smells. Grandpa would always cut a piece of meat up for me because I was never good at getting the right portion. Stuffing our faces the table was quite for a whole hour. Nothing was even said between the transition of dinner to dessert. Pecan pie and chocolate pudding were on the specialty that afternoon and boy was it good.
After eating and clearing up the table we all headed into the den where a few more hours of silence and t.v. watching were observed. Grandpa began to talk about running four miles down the road just get home in time for dinner or he knew his daddy was going to get him. He said how young and vibrant he use to be.
"Grandpa, did you really run that far?"
"Oh I sure did. I ran so fast that I think I lost ten pounds in that one session." We all laughed at the joke he made. Grandma Elena even chuckled loudly because she couldn't quite picture grandpa actually running down the side of the road. Once again things got quiet and it felt as if nothing was ever said all day. I hated hearing the silence and I loved to hear stories from grandpa so I had to break the frozen air.
"Grandpa, tell about the time you met grandma in San Andre Hill?"
Nothing was said, no movement or sounds. I thought maybe he fell asleep or he just didn't hear me.
"Grandpa, did you hear me? Tell me another story!" I shouted even louder.
Once again, nothing said and no one moved. Mama however did shuffle toward him to try and wake him up.
"Dad?"
"Grandpa, wake up!"
Nothing moved. A breeze of cold air hit me just then. I wasn't sure what happened and I don't remember seeing much because my eyes began to swell with water. Something was wrong, something didn't feel right.
The next thing I know Mama and Papa are running through the house like a pack of wild animals. Grandma Elena just sat in her chair holding her Bible in her hands and rocking back and forth. The rest of the children were herded into the other room by Aunt Rose while Uncle Ted directed the EMS men into the den. I wasn't sure what to do or say so I just hid behind the couch listening to the EMS men talk to Uncle Ted. I felt like an investigation at a crime scene was going on. There were a few nods of a mans head and then a mournful handshake between he and Uncle Ted.
Once the room cleared of all the EMS men, Uncle Ted sat down next to grandma and held her close, whispering some sweet sweet prayer. I closed my eyes and tried to hear that same prayer telling God to take care of my grandpa.
It wasn't til that that night that the EMS men actually got a hold of us. The phone rang sparactically off the hook around nine o'clock. Mama jumped up to answer it but Papa was too quick for her.
"Hello? Yes. Yes. Okay. Oh, okay. Thank you sir. Uh huh, you too."
Papa slowly turned around with a glaze of tears across his eyes. He walked slowly toward us all and put his hand on Mama's shoulder.
"The doctor said that Grandpa Joe had a mild heart attack. Things were okay until he had another one. Doc said it wasn't so mild though. They told us to call tomorrow to make arrangements for the funeral and wished us the best of luck."
The room molded into a silent film, no one said a word or cried a single tear. Just dead silence.
I began to think why on earth this would happen, how could of all a sudden a healthy man go bad?
"The nurse said on his last heart attack he was talking about running. Running far and hard. She wasn't sure why he would say something like that. She said he yelled 'I made it' and that was it."
My heart stopped. I couldn't believe it, he was trying to relive being young and vibrant. The thought of running got his heart rushing, too fast. I never thought he'd ever truly run that four mile hike again, but I guess he did.
[ps] not a true story
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Journal Entry #3
In the preparations for college there has been so many confusing, major, and complicated decisions I've had to make. Those which include which school to attend, whether to change my major, where I want to live, how I'm going to afford college, and whether I really want to pursue my future in radiology. All tough choices but I believe for the majority I've made some pretty smart ones. I've decided to attend UNC-Charlotte where I will be for just one year unfortunately. I found out Charlotte does not have a program that relates to Radiology besides the science you need. After my long haul through Charlotte I will most likely transfer to ECU or CVCC. CVCC is probably going to be my first choice because they have one of the best radiology programs after UNC-Chapel Hill; pretty amazing. Deciding where I want to live is still in the toss up. I want to move into an apartment so bad, but once I transfer to CVCC, if so, I will be going from an apartment back to home? I think not, I don't think I can do that, I could move into another apartment up around CVCC but not by myself. That's a bit ridiculous. I couldn't possibly do that after living an amazing year in an apartment. The next large decision I had to make was how to pay for college. Unfortunately teaching fellows fell through in its early stages and after that I decided to change my major with out notification to the guidence office. So day after day I'm sent these wonderful scholarship offers that I have to turn down because I no longer want to teach. So opportunitites that I've been given I have to pay for college by taking out loans and I'm on my own with that. College is stressful so if you're yet to be a senior, GET STARTED NOW!! Good luck with the preparations for college.
Journal Entry #2 [vent]
I hate hearing my alarm clock go off at 6 a.m. every single day, this be including weekends. It gets frustrating to have to hear that alarm go off and knowing you can't sleep in because you have something to do. What's real sad is that you have to get up after a long night of work/babysitting/or attempting to spend time with your friends. Now I know what you are thinking, you don't have to go out with your friends. Unfortunately you kind of have to, to have a life that is. I don't want to eat, breathe, and sleep work. That's just something I'm a bit too young for. My friends actually allow me to relax a little and not think about the stresses of work. Sometimes I do get carried away and end up staying out a little later than I want to but honestly, its hard for a teenager to get up early in the morning to work. It gets real old as well when you do it every weekend since probably last year. Now things will hopefully be changing for the better here soon since I will be able to work during the week over the summer. Then maybe, they won't schedule me for the weekends as much, or at least the early shift. I'm going to want to have fun and whatever but I need to keep a job to stay financially stable for the sake of not being a broke college student =] I can't wait to be able to have a real JOB, like something I actually enjoy unlike my job today. It gets old real fast and I don't really like to make sandwhiches every day. There are times when I can handle it better than others but the great thing is that I can keep a smile on my face and the people I work with help the day go faster as well. It's not only work that I can't take waking for, it's school as well. Each day gets harder and harder because I have less than a month left of it and to be honest, I feel like each day is pointless for me to awake. Everything is more of a project rather than learning in class actually. I want to just sit at home and work on my projects rather than coming to class and not getting anything accomplished. Gah is it frustrating to come wake up that early and attempt to present my self as a decent person.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Journal Entry #3
Sometimes you just have to let go. ..it's fustrating to know that no matter where you go you are going to be filled with drama. At work, school, your house, even in the neighborhood. I hate it. Drama is the one thing that really puts a damper on my day. It pulls you down so much you feel like you're drowning helplessly and get get to the surface. The smallest things cause the biggest drama scenes, that's the sad part. I get tired of having to deal with the small little drama fiascos that people bring up. Unfortunately, drama will never go away. I just wish that for once everyone could get along and not have to bring up the stupidest stuff. What i hate the most is when you know someone was talking about you behind your back and they don't confirm when you confront them. Why would you dig yourself deeper than you already are? That's pretty lame if you ask me. I would rather be honest by 1) saying exactly what you have to say to someones face, or 2) When confronted speak the truth. Those two options are the best way to get yourself out of that hole, unless you could care less and just wanted to keep on diggin'. Personally, I've grown more to speaking my mind to people's faces, maybe not literally, but I speak them and not just behind their back. I think this is important to do so because it shows your maturity level of not being afraid to speak out and hide yourself. Not that I am saying to go up to everyone you have a problem with and speak your mind out to them, I just mean when you have one of those drama fiascos just keep it between you and that person, that way you get to your point and there's no rumors. Along the way you may loose from friends during the drama, but remember what my dad always says, " The friends you have today won't be the friends you have five to ten years from now." I keep that in mind all the time, but I do cherish the moments I have with those I care about now.
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